Living Up to Their Reputation

Last night, my department at the university had its Christmas dinner. I had been looking forward to it as a nice social event, an excuse to dress up a little here in ultra-casual Holland, and, of course, as a chance to indulge in a nice meal that I didn't have to cook.

Now, my past experience of workplace Christmas parties has all taken place in the States. And usually the conversation amongst co-workers before the shindig goes something like this:

"Hey, did you hear they got a band?"

"It's open bar. Woohoo! Oh wait... just don't let me get so drunk that I embarrass myself in front of my boss, okay?"

"I hope Eric from accounting is going to be there. He's such a hotty."

But in Holland, it's a little different. Here, there is one remark made above all others when you discuss the upcoming Christmas party with your co-workers.

Me: Hey Hans, you going to the Christmas dinner?

Hans: Yeah, of course. It's free food.

And while you might think that the Dutchman I chose might be an exception to this pragmatic (and, ahem, somewhat cheap) reason for attending a Christmas party, I assure you, he's not.

M (upon realizing that he's been invited to 3 Christmas dinners in a row): Cool! That's a good bargain! We don't have to buy any groceries that week!

Siiiiiiiiigggggh. I don't see diamonds in my future. Do you?

Refusing to Play Along

Me: (Said after I told M that I was cold all day.) Imagine if I'd been born into an Eskimo family. I would've been miserable.

M: Yeah, but it's all relative. If you'd been born into that culture, you'd be able to handle the cold.

Me: Yeah, I know. But just imagine that you are who you are and you were born someplace else. Knowing your character, where do you think would've been the worst place for you to have been born.

M: China

Me: Why China?

M: Because I don't speak a word of Chinese.

Me: UGGGHHH... that's NOT what I mean!

M: Well, if you don't like my answer, stop asking stupid questions.