The Party of Incomprehension
On Friday night, my Dutch teacher (er, she's Dutch and she teaches Dutch so maybe I can call her my "Double Dutch" teacher... ha! I kill me... ) hosted a party for our class. We all brought food from our respective countries -- I baked brownies -- and we mingled and chatted and even danced a little. There was only one rule for the evening: We must speak Dutch to each other at all times. This was all well and good -- a nice non-class exercise for our language skills -- but after the night was over I started thinking about what it's like to hang out with a bunch of people and chat with them all night in my second language. (and for some in my class, their third or even fourth language...) And, really, when you think about it, it's like a skit from SNL or an episode of a sitcom. Me: I think I might go out in the city after this party and get a drink with by boyfriend. Random Turkish Man (he understands): Do you want to go get a drink with me and be my boyfriend? Me (confused as to why he's now grinning luridly at me): In what part of the city do you live and how long does it take you to get to the school?Random Turkish Man (thinking this is his lucky day, understands): How long will it take us to get back to your place? Me (thinking): Wow, he is so friendly. But hmmm... why is he now standing so close to me? Maybe it's a cultural difference thing. Me: How did you like my brownies?RTM (understands): Would you like to taste my delicious brownie? Okay, so the above conversation never really happened, but it's really not that far off the mark. I biked back to town with a Japanese girl from my class and I asked her (in English) if she'd understood the departing remarks of our teacher when we were pulling out of her driveway. She looked at me in all seriousness and said "I have absolutely no idea. In fact, I haven't understood you for the last five minutes."
Addiction to Youtube
To make up for crappy Dutch TV, I've recently started watching fun things on youtube.com. Check out the link and wait for the kid in the orange shirt. I think he's missing some really important things like tendons, ligaments and maybe even a few bones. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lAzjWE5BIg
Ring my Bell
The other night, I biked into town to meet a girlfriend for dinner. As I made a right into a street, the car ahead of me suddenly slammed on its brakes and the driver threw the car into reverse. Into reverse barely inches from me. On instinct, I also immediately slammed on my brakes and swerved to avoid being hit. You know how when you're in a car and this sort of thing happens, you lay on your horn out of fear -- HEY! Accckkk! Stop stop!!! You're about to hit me! -- and anger -- HEY ASSHOLE! Watch where you're going, you blind jerk!!...?Weeelll, when you're on a bike, you want to do the same thing but then you realize, oh dear, here's me without a horn. How vexing. But before you completely realize how absurd what you're about to do is, your hand flies to your BELL... yes, your BIKE BELL... and you ring it furiously to let the people in the car... that car that has the windows rolled up... that "hey, um, excuse me, but I am here on my bike, and can't you hear me ringing my bike bell at you? Um, um, excuuuuuseee meeeeee."And then the ridiculousness of the situation hits you and you realize that you are making a complete fool of yourself. Luckily, I was alone on the street and no Dutch people were around to laugh at me.
Damn those ineffective dikes... (and I don't mean women in comfortable shoes)
A Public (and brief) Love Letter to M
Today is a special day.One year ago, I arrived in Holland to start my new life with you. I was excited, scared, doubtful, happy, already homesick, nervous, and giddy. It was a potent mix of emotions. And as you and I both know, those intense, confused, and often-times tumultuous emotions didn't leave me for the entire year. In fact, they pushed me into the blackest place I've ever been. But despite all that... despite our fights... my depression... my bitching about the weather... my homesickness (and divorcesickness, if I can create a new word...) and my fears about who I am and about what my life here is supposed to be... I have not regretted -- for one single second -- coming here to be with you. I feel very lucky to be in love with such a rare and wonderful person. I look forward to what our next year together will bring.
