Getting fat sucks.

I tried on a pair of jeans today that used to be my favorites. I hadn't worn them in 2 years because they had a hole in them that I was unsure how to patch -- didn't want to make them look like my Sears toughskins from 2nd grade. Today, I think I solved that problem with a discreet, you can barely see it, patch. I was so proud. Excitedly, I quickly removed the jeans I was currently wearing... oh joy of joys my favorite jeans are back!... I shimmied my missed lovelies up my calves... my thighs... (ahem... feeling a little snug...)... and then...

Um, is it possible that someone, somehow, got into my closet and well, maybe threw REALLY hot water on my favorite jeans and they well, you know, somehow shrunk? 'Cause I couldn't button these jeans or even attempt to pull up the zipper and well, that just seems odd, ya see. I mean, these jeans used to fit like a dream... they were even a little loose... and they hugged my butt just so.

So, if one of you could just confess that you did this... I won't be mad or anything... no no... I won't be... well... it would make me feel a lot better.

Thanks.