"I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy..." (note: the unusual dish was ox penis and the pictures... well... I gotta go try to find them)

... but no one here cares. I didn't have one hot dog or hamburger or see one American flag. I even had to work and not one of my students said a THING to me about my little American holiday. It's like China is on the other side of the world or something. :)

Today is Day 59 of the China Adventure. And these are the haps from just south of Tiananmen Square. (Did I mention I live just south of Tiananmen Square? How cool is that?)

1) The other day I watched table tennis on TV (you know that sport we call ping pong and we can barely beat our grandmother at it) and I LIKED IT. REALLY. It was fast-paced and exciting and quite athletic. I take this as irrefutable evidence that I must come home soon.

2) To those of my friends who've had children or are currently wearing maternity clothes. You think these clothes are bad in the States? Ha!! I laugh at your frustration. You should come to China. The only option for women here who have "a bun in the oven" are these horribly shapeless, totally unflattering -- and usually pink -- dresses that are very much like mummus. They even make skinny, cute little Asian women look like barges. Imagine what they would make us look like.

3) My friend Hogan told me that men always want to marry a girl from the south of China. (remember... Hogan is my friend currently searching for the appropriate trophy wife) He said Beijing girls and other girls from the north are too much like Western girls. You cheat and she will drop you in a second. Well, at least she will torture you for a goooooooddddd looooooonnnnngggg time. However, the Southern Chinese woman (who by the way are ALSO considered to be quite beautiful) takes pride in her husband's virility. In other words, she is quite pleased when her husband has many lovers. Her husband's studliness reflects well on her. "Oohhhhh my husband is SOOO manly, that I am not enough for him. He must have many women to be satisfied." Now... I don't know if this is just Hogan's wishful thinking or if this is actually true. NOTE: To my single male friends, if this prospect is interesting... I will certainly try to verify this information for you. (but I have to tell you, on principle, I think you suck)

4) Also to those same male friends, please make note of interesting China note number 2. You've been warned.

5) If you visit China, you might as well leave your credit card at home. The chances you can actually USE this handy piece of plastic here are quite slim. Unlike the States, everyone here operates with cash. Always. This is incredibly confusing for the average foreigner in this country. Say, you're in a restaurant. You ask in your very limited Mandarin "Do you take credit cards?" They reply "yes!" You think "oh thank God, I'm so cash poor... I found a place that will feed me on credit! They take your card, they swipe it in front of you and the error sign starts blinking incessantly. They try it again. Again, no luck. You start feeling embarassed. Am I over the limit? Did I pay my last bill? Don't worry, you're not a deadbeat. It's just that you're not using a Chinese credit card. Huh? There are different types??? Yes indeedy, your country's credit is no good here. You want to use credit, you better get a card from the Bank of China. And the chances that you can get one of those issued to you are... well... zero. Happy shopping!

6) My home in China is located at Guangqumen Qiao. (pronounce: gwang-chu-men-chee-ow) By the way, qiao means bridge. And from this bridge (which is over both water and traffic -- more later on Beijing traffic) men will gather in the evenings and fly their kites. This is a sight to see. It's more than a past time -- it's a sport, like soccer or football or even my new favorite, table tennis. These men must measure their prowess by who can fly their kite so high that you basically cannot see it anymore. I've seen kites so high that I swear I saw satellites pass underneath of them. Remember a few weeks back when the solar sail spacecraft got lost? (If you don't, start reading more news, you cretin. I'm in China and I even know what's going on over there!) Anyway, I think I saw a Chinese man hook this thing on his kite and yank it in. It's now stored in a shed behind his house with his bicycle and an old wok that he no longer uses.

7) Today, on my way to work, my taxi broke down. I was riding along and all of the sudden the car began to shudder. My taxi driver looked at me with embarassment and said "blah blah blah blah blah." (well, it sounded more like "sh wu sh ga sh chu ga ga wu wu") I took this to mean "hey white lady, my cheap chinese cab is about to break down, you're gonna have to get off your big American butt and walk soon." As I was already running late for work (of course...) I looked at my fellow teacher in panic and said "We're not gonna make it." He replied confidently "No no... we're gonna make it." I looked at him with skepticism and just then the cab driver took a hard right and coasted to the curb. The car was dead. But unlike a Chinese person, he did not make us pay (more later on the Chinese soaking Westerners for every cent they have.) Did I mention the taxi was a French made car? Need I say more?

8) Finally, you're getting some pictures from China! Here's a dinner that I had with some friends where I had a rather unusual dish. (there was a another Westerner at dinner and he also was a brave soul and tried the new weird food with me) As you'll notice, though, from the pics, I'm still true to form. Beer was my drink of choice. I have to say, I didn't really enjoy this particular Chinese delicacy. Blech.

Farewell from China. Hope everyone had a drunken and fireworks-filled 4th.

Love you and miss you all!
Angela (by the way... my name is pronounced here AHN -gee-LAAAH)