From June 3rd -- "Sino-American relations are on the upswing..."

It sure seems like you've been hearing a lot from me these days, but I thought I should write one last email message before I head off to Beijing tomorrow. Oh yeah, by the way, I'm moving to Beijing tomorrow.

First of all, let me tell you that things between my Chinese friends and I have greatly improved. Gifts, hugs and tears were exchanged and now all is right with my little world.

So, today is my last day in Chengdu. I've greatly enjoyed my time in this city and I'll miss Sichuan food terribly (where else can you eat food that contains a spice that paralyzes your tongue?), but I have to say I'm anxious to return to the hustle and bustle of the capital city. Hopefully, the gods of fortune will smile on me there and I'll make some money. (otherwise, I might be sleeping on your couch when I get back.)

But since I have a little time before I head off to the land of the Forbidden City and the Great Wall, I thought I'd give you all an "official update" about the sights, sounds, habits and happenings from China. Here goes:

1) I've decided to come back to the States and become a millionaire with my new diet plan called "The Chopstick Diet." Here's how it works: If you have a few unsightly pounds that you'd like to lose, start eating all of your meals with chopsticks. No exceptions. And, you can't use those wooden ones like you do at the Sushi place. Those are for wussies. You gotta use the slippery plastic or metal ones. Now, I do suggest that until you get the hang of them, you wear a bib because a lot of your food WILL land on your lap. Or your chest. Or the floor. The secret principle behind this fantastical diet plan is simple: It's called starvation. Okay, okay... not really... I have been able to make it through a whole meal and actually consume enough food. Really, it's more about the fact that you eat so slowly that you realize your full before your food is gone. I remember reading one time that ancient cultures thought forks were barbaric because it seemed like you shovel your food into your mouth when you use them. I kinda understand. When you see how daintily people eat here -- especially the women -- you can see one of the reasons everyone is so thin. Even still, despite McDonalds and KFC.

The other interesting food thing I like about China is that you're always eating macrobiotically. (eat your hearts out Madonna and Gwyneth) Your food is always fresh and before it landed on your table it was recently being plucked, dug up, or slaughtered at a farm not far from your restaurant. This was made especially clear to me one night when I was walking through Chengdu and could smell something burning everywhere I went. I later asked Tao about it and he said "oh that's the farmers on the outskirts of town burning the wheat husks." Well, okay then.

2) I'm getting really good at crossing streets here. I mean, I'm getting cocky. Now, this may not sound like much of an accomplishment, but I assure you it is. (as you may remember from one of my earlier emails) It's right up there with things like firewalking or hanggliding or other treacherous activities. I think of it as the art of anticipation. Is that bike going to zig left or right? Will that car run the redlight or will the traffic guard be able to stop it? And for god's sake, once you start across the street, don't change your trajectory. For instance, you might think "hmmm... I'll be nice and let that little old Chinese woman on her bike go ahead of me." No No No. Because she's already thought "American girl up ahead. While I'm tempted to hit her she'll be past point X by the time I get there, so I will go behind her." If you stop like a deer in headlights, you've just screwed it all up. Or been hit.

3) They do the same thing to us that we do to them. If I YELL Mandarin at her, eventually she will understand.

4) Offensive hygiene habit number #4785: Public spitting. Everyone spits in public here. Even young women. I will forever associate the sound of someone getting ready to spit with China. I have to imagine that it has to do with some sort of belief about good health. (pretty much everything is about staying healthy.... )

5) About my trip to Shanghai... wow... what a cool city. Now, I know part of the luster of Shanghai was it's large ex-pat population. I was really jazzed to speak English. It was like a language oasis in my Mandarin desert. But also, Shanghai is very cosmopolitan and posh. There are dark little bars tucked into alleyways. There are high end stores and impossibly tall Asian models. (where did THEY come from... did the Chinese government breed them?) There's just a general hipness to the place that you don't really feel in most of China. But also... Shanghai appeals to my inner sci-fi geek. There are these huge, exotically-shaped skyscrapers blinking neon and the only magnetic-propelled train in the world. (which, unfortunately, I didn't ride.) When I stopped in the middle of all of it to soak it up, it was like I was in Blade Runner. And the really crazy thing is that 15 years ago, none of it was there. I saw an exhibition with before and after pics of Shanghai and it's amazing how fast that city became what it is now. In 1990, it was virtually all bikes and dirt roads.

6) My friend Hogan in Beijing likes to make fun of the ex-pat guys who come here to find wives. He says, without fail, they pick the ugly ones. Now, apparently, what we deem to be a beautiful Asian woman is not exactly what Asian men find attractive. He says they always get the girls with the round faces and the wider noses. Since Hogan is currently wife shopping (i.e. looking for the appropriate trophy wife) he has very specific tastes. She must have a more Western, angular face and have a thin nose. Whatever... I guess we always want what our culture deems to be rare.

7) Oh yeah, and by the way, I'm old here. Over the hill. As in, you better find a husband soon 'cause you're virtually un-marrieable. I had a woman come up to me to practice her English and it went like this. Her: "Oh, you are so beautiful. How old are you?" Me: "32" Her: "oh my, you don't look like that. 32 is old in China." Not one of my better moments. :) (and if any of you write to say I'm also old in the States, I will never speak to you again. :)

8) I had one of "those" massages. Alright, not really, but I thought that would get your attention. However, I will say that I did have a massage in Beijing that had some surprising parts to it. Ah ha now you're curious... Hogan took me and another American out on the town and then we went to a spa afterwards. Yes, after. I was at a spa at 3am. Soon after we arrived, I was taken to the "girls" side by a nice little lady who helped me undress. (apparently, i need help with this activity). Then, I went for a shower where my very attentive attendant helped me shower. Huh? This I KNOW I can handle on my own, but she insisted on soaping up my back for me. (Oh yeah, you gotta be clean for a full-body massage in China. Them's the rules.) After I donned my little pajamas -- shorts and little shirt -- I was whisked into an elevator. I assumed I was now going to my massage. Nope. It was time to eat. Before I realized it, I was in a coed dining room with wet hair and no makeup. Plus, now it's 3:30am. I was quite a beauty, I'm sure. After some dumplings with my friends, we finally went to our respective rooms for our massages. Not only did I have a Thai massage, but I also got a more traditional Hong Kong massage. And if you want to know the suprising parts, you're just gonna have to ask personally. I'm keeping this g-rated. (don't worry, mom and dad, it wasn't anything that weird or illegal) 2 1/2 hours later, at 6am, I finally emerged from the spa. Birds were chirping, the sun was shining and I felt like I was doing the walk of shame. :)

Well, that's it for now. I don't know when I'll be able to write again, but I promise not to be a stranger. Tomorrow is the one-month mark for me and I can barely believe it's only been that long. I've had so much happen to me that it feels like I've been here for a year.

Miss you, Angela