I just learned today that my ex-husband is getting remarried at the end of April.
posted by A @ 1:42 PM
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8 Comments:
holy shit.
you're kidding me.
you know -- from what little you wrote about him...it still sounds as if he's the one that lost out big in the end.
then again...it always hurts to have those last little strands torn out from two cleaved hearts.
tell M to do something nice for you today. perhaps a foot rub is in order.
hmmmm -- here's something for you that's sweet and not cynical for a change --- i pulled it from my blog...
*********************************
BEGIN PASSAGE
...it was a mild winter afternoon, this day of the crisis. A crow cawed in the distance. Encircling the glade were the trees of the park, their bare branches reaching upwards. In front of us was the round placid play pond where once my little ships sailed. We talked deeply, not about the already-settled mater of secrets but about justice between lovers and about how to make love endure. What emerged from our talk was nothing less, we believed, than the central "secret" of enduring love: sharing.
"Look," we said, "what is it that draws two people into closeness and love? Of course there's the mystery of physical attraction, but beyond that it's the things they share. We both love strawberries and ships and collies and poems and all beauty, and all those things bind us together. Those sharings just happened to be; but what we must do now is share everything. Everything! If one us likes anything, there must be something to like in it - and the other one must find it. Every single thing that either of us likes. That way we shall create a thousand strands, great and small, that will link us together. Then we shall be so close that it would be impossible - unthinkable - for either of us to suppose that we could ever recreate such closeness with anyone else. And our trust in each other will not only be based on love and loyalty but on the fact of a thousand sharings - and thousand strands twisted into something unbreakable."
Our enthusiasm grew as we talked. Total sharing, we felt, was the ultimate secret of a love that would last forever. And of course we could learn to like anything if we wanted to. Through sharing we would not only make a bond of incredible friendship, but through sharing we would keep the magic of inloveness. And with every year, more and more depth. We would become as close as two human beings could become - closer perhaps than any two people had ever been. Whatever storms might come, whatever changes the years might bring, there would be the bedrock closeness of all our sharing. So we saw our way, horizon beyond horizon, ahead. And so it was to be. gaily and seriously we sealed our compact with a handshake and then, suddenly, kissed each other.
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here's to you and M as you try to cleave closer together to one another...
How far are you guys from Sparn??? Just wondering :)
Hey anonymous,
I love your passage. It's quite beautiful. Where is your blog? I want to read more...
Anon... you coming to Spain??? Um, it's quite a trip up to me, but definately do-able.
I love the post from anonymous.
So, how much did you and your ex share? Now...really reflect...dig deep...be objective if possible (with your broken heart and angry mind)...how much did you really share? Were either of you closed off emotionally? (I think you've mentioned this before in your blog) Were either of you constantly running away for fear you'd lose your individuality? Did you have the same likes? Or, were you trying to change each other into liking the same things?
I respectfully disagree with anonymous...I don't think either of you missed out. Personally, I think you have memories and a shared time in life together. For whatever reason, it didn't work and you both now have the opportunity to find love and happiness with, hopefully, the RIGHT one.
You've moved on with M and seem to be very happy. Shouldn't your ex have the same opportunity?
And I think this sort of thinking is why so many people divorce -- because there might always be the RIGHT one out there waiting for you rather than staying put, planting your feet and working things out with the person you chose. Because you did CHOOSE that person for some reason, didn't you?
Yes, I understand this is irony coming from the divorced girl. And yes, I do feel that I am with someone who is more closely matched to me in temperment and worldview. But I also know that I (and my ex) gave up a whole world -- one that included a million inside jokes and equal that amount of laughter, a lot of shared likes and dislikes (some naturally there, some created together), future children, a shared past, in-laws we loved, etc etc etc.
Were we carbon copies of each other? No. But did we share a lot of similarities -- truly, when I "dig deep" and "think objectively?" Yes, I think we did.
ok...
i'm quite disturbed with the the presence of more anonymous people. i would like that title for myself please. :P
i think my comment about losing out was taken a little out of context -- i was just implying that ex husband probably had a good thing and didnt realize it...
for miss jenna -- i do have a blog -- but it's actually anonymous also. it's just a little lair i retreat to to lament life's loss and love's lost. quite boring mushy stuff actually.
i appreciate the compliment however...if you ever need anything - you know where to find me :) otherwise, maybe i'll check your site out and say hello.
back to you miss angela -- those memories are hard to replace. i'm sure you weren't married to a hitler clone...so yeah - it's tough to pull those "thousands of little strands" apart...
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