Howdy folks, I'm back. And here are some entertaining tidbits -- or just general info -- from the past few days:
1) The sun shone for three days. THREE DAYS! Saturday, Sunday and Monday were cold but sunny and it made me hhhhaaaaaapppppyyyy. Of course, today, there's sideways blowing snow out there, so things are back to normal, I guess.
2) M and I spent Saturday night in Utrecht. This is a very nice, little city -- beautiful buildings and canals, nice stores, and obviously a more prosperous place than where I'm currently living. (I'm in the farmer/blue collar area of the Netherlands) Here's a link with more info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Utrecht_%28city%29
3) A typical M, dry Dutch humor, one-liner from this weekend: Me: (after getting a little jealous about something he said) "Hey, that's not funny!! Tell me you love me right now!" Him (completely deadpan): "Okay. I love you right now." har har har... maybe you had to be there...
4) I have had my first glimpse of "The Crazy." It was cold, we were driving approx. an hour to another city on Sunday, but by god, the SUN was SHINING and THEREFORE we drove with the TOP DOWN. Uh huh. Hey, I was a good sport about it... and actually, I'm beginning to understand. These pagan, sun-worshipping Dutchies are sucking me into their cult. The sun! The sun! I think I'll remove my shirt! I think I'll drive in my convertible! I will actually smile at the other people around me!
5) I pulled an egg outta the fridge the other day and there were feathers and a little chicken doody still on it. Yikes. This didn't even happen to me in China. (of course, there I ate the little chicken's heart, feet, intestines... etc etc)
6) I really want to watch the Oscars this Sunday but I think it'll be airing here at about 3am. Sigh.
7) The "other American" here invited me to be one of her buddies during the Self Challenge. (some 3 month thing where you exercise and diet, etc) I've found that seeing how much she's exercising every week is bringing out my competitive side. So... I've been working out like a madwoman. Yesterday morning I even dragged my butt out of bed to go to a class called "body combat." In addition to inspiring me to karate chop everything around me, the class has also left me sore... uh.... well... everywhere. My body feels about a 100 today.
8) We had a friend come over spontaneously for dinner last night. (which was great... the Dutch tend to plan every little appointment... even social ones.) Anyhoo... dinner was nice, the conversation was good, but I learned something surprising. He was telling us how much he hated the fact that his ex-wife put him second after their kids were born. Now, I can understand this, but the sentiment was expressed in a kinda whiney way. Sort of "Why did I have to be second? I hate being second!" At first I thought he was kidding because he was so adamant... but then I realized "nope, this whining is sincere." Is this why they divorced? Is this why he left his wife for a woman half his age? And what will happen when she also wants a baby ('cause she and I have talked about it and she's definately leaning that way)? I mean, will he feel this neglect all over again? Dunno... got me to thinking... I think a lot of women turn the majority of their focus towards their kids and well... how do you strike a balance between caring for this little human that demands all of your time and attention and make sure your husband doesn't feel left out in the cold? (plus clean the house, work full-time, cook.. etc etc etc... and yeah i know, your husband should be helping with these things, but I do have friends who are responsible for all of it.)
9) Students in Utrecht will paint their bikes crazy colors so they won't get stolen. (why steal the orange striped bike that will stand out when you can steal the black one that looks like everyone elses)
Alrighty. That's it... I can't think of another thing at the moment. Not much going on over here... either inside my head or out. :)
posted by A @ 2:16 PM
9 Comments:
You could make an argument that if he loved both of them in the highest way possible (self sacrificially) - then it wouldn't matter if he was 1st, 2nd or even 89th. Love is crazy like that.
Perhaps post partum depression extends to fathers also? :)
i could see how the whiny thing could get to you. i mean suck it up and take it like a man...
men suck ass.
nice to see you enjoyed your road trip. if i was to visit the Netherlands where should I go?
How much should I set aside for wooden shoes?
thanks for the comments from both... and anonymous, if you come over here, you really should visit me here in Enschede. Oh and I guess maybe see that little city called Amsterdam. It's kinda nice.
i'm afraid if i see you it wouldn't be good. from what i gather reading your blogs ---- you and i would get along a little too well. i like the way your life is shaping up - i'm interested to see where this story takes you.
anonymous distractions like myself have no place beyond the occasional written replies.
but i appreciate reccomending amsterdam. i will be going to europe this summer...and will see the possibilities of visiting stated city.
"How do you strike a balance between caring for this little human that demands all of your time and attention and make sure your husband doesn't feel left out in the cold?" -- You don't! You tell the whiny baby (aka, your husband) to suck it! Give me a break. Too often, a child is born and the mother naturally becomes selfless and puts the child first, and the husband still puts himself first. Moms don't have that luxury. So, either the husband should shut up and deal with it, or start pitching in more to help the mom out so she has more free time to spend with him. (Of course, in reality, she'll just want to use that time to sleep.)
Does it sound like I speak from experience? Maybe a little. But at least my husband also puts our baby (and future baby) first and doesn't whine when I'm taking care of our son instead of catering to his needs (except for the occasional slip of "When's dinner?" to my response, "You tell me, Jackass! The stove's over there!")...
weaker?
i think that's the whole problem with this gender war stuff...
not weaker. different.
if we lost either gender - i think the world would not be better off.
then again - men still suck ass.
:P
The child should come first... for both of the parents. After all, for both the father and the mother goes that this little creature has to transport his/her genes to future generations of the species.
Second should be taking care of yourself.
Third might be giving attention to your partner, so that the above mentioned is fulfilled better and/or more pleasantly.
Whoa! M, I soooo disagree with you!
I think the greatest gift parents can give their children is to show their children that the parent's relationship matters and, at times, has priority, while still reassuring the little ones that they're loved. Parents who give their entire lives over to their children will wake up one day - the day after the kids leave home -pissed off and disappointed. They will no longer feel a connection to their partner or even know them anymore. What you suggest is a very fast way to an unsatisfying marriage and a divorce. Your children are probably going to imitate your marriage. What kind of relationship do you want for them? You should not want less for yourself. Show them by example.
...i was wondering when that shoe would drop...
:)
in M's defense - i do think europeans tend to be a little more pragmatic in their thinking...
i'm sure he would love angela as much - if not more than his kids.
if not...then i would have to agree with ms. michelle -- he would just emulate 87% of most american marriages...
I realize everyone is probably past this contribution by now... but I just had to weigh in.
Er, yeah... M and I actually did have a little discussion about this contribution.
Let me just say that the dialogue when he was growing up and the dialogue that often swirls in his head often has a "scientific" bent to it. With his comment he was trying to take the conversation to that level. (not higher, not lower, just different)
I told him "hey, humans don't think that way. Knock it off."
:)
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