Crazy as a Door

Sometimes M will say something to me in English that I recognize is a direct translation of a Dutch saying or turn of phrase. For the most part, I get the sentiment because many Dutch sayings are just like American ones, only with slight differences. Other times, it's like he's landed here from another planet and I'm trying to figure out what new and strange language he's speaking.

I thought I'd share a few:

1) It was the drop that let the bucket overflow. (Just like our "It was the straw that broke the camel's back.)

Incidentally, I get why the Dutch are talking about water. I mean there are canals here and dams and water falls out of the sky almost every damn day. But uh... why exactly do we talk about camels? It's not like our ancestors headed west to the great gold rush of '49 on the backs of camels, did they? Why isn't this saying something like "It was the flask of whiskey that broke the mule's back?" This I would get. Or we could even update it "It was the Big Mac that broke the chair."

2) High trees catch a lot of wind.

This saying has the same meaning as another, less official, turn of phrase that goes something like this: If you put your head above the field it'll get chopped off. Nice, huh?

Actually, these sayings are good examples of a basic tenet of Dutch society: Don't stand out from the crowd. Blend in. Don't draw attention to yourself.

And it's one of the things American expats here have some troubling learning. We're just the opposite. Look at me! Yoohoo, over here! Let me tell you how great I am and what I can do for your company! (A friend of mine was recently rejected for a job and one of the reasons the interviewers stated for not thinking she was a good fit was "that she talked too much about herself during the interview..."

3) You're such a luxury horse. We say "clothes horse" but the Dutch say this to anyone who likes expensive things, not just clothes.

4) After the calf has drowned, then one fills in the well.

5) If one sheep is over the dam, the rest will follow.

6) If the cat is away from the house, the mice will dance. (I imagine that the mice like to cha cha.)

7) Oost, west, thuis best. This translates to east, west, home, best.

8) The clock doesn't tick anywhere like it does at home.

9) Samen uit, samen thuis. This is my favorite Dutch saying. It translates to "Together out. Together home." It's a nice couple thing.

10) To tie the cat to the bacon. (To make something too tempting to resist.)

I'm sure that this must mean that the cat is just going to eat the bacon because it's right there, tied to it's paw, but, the first thing that popped into my head was the family dog thinking "Well, shoot, I've been wanting to eat the cat for years and now I get bacon in the deal too, so why not?"

11) To find the dog in the pot. (Means you're too late for dinner and the dog is already eating the leftovers.)

14) Better to have a bird in hand, then 10 in the air.

15) The grass is always greener on the other side of the hill. Um, there are no hills in Holland so I find this one a bit perplexing. There are fences, so maybe they should just start using our version.

16) It's like comparing apples and pears.

17) The fence is off the dam. (means that someone's out of control)

18) She has corpses in the closet.

We have skeletons. I guess the secrets the Dutch keep are meatier. (ba-dum dum!)

19) To find bears in the road. (to come upon unforseen problems)

20) I'm sweating like an otter.

21) Fit as a little hen. 'Cause, you know, chickens always watch what they eat and get plenty of exercise.

22) And my absolute favorite: He's crazy as a door.

Yes, if you see a person acting like a nut at a party -- dancing around, drinking too much, pinching the ladies, whatever -- you can compare his crazy antics to the thing you also know to be a real lunatic with all it's opening and closing and letting people into places. A door.

It's okay, I don't get it either.