Because I'm all about keeping this website G-rated, I've decided to end today (it's over over here in Holland... currently the land of insane World Cup soccer fans) with a load of jokes that will make my mother laugh out loud but will also make her feel embarrassed that her daughter posted them.

Q. Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?A. Ask your mother.

Q. How do you embarrass an archeologist?A. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q. What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?A. Wiped his ass.

Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q. What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?A. A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q. What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?A. Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q. What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?A. You know she'll swallow.

Q. What's the difference between a Catholic wife and a Jewish wife?A. A Catholic wife has real orgasms and fake jewelry.

Q. How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?A. Two. The hard part is getting them in the light bulb.

Q. When is a pixie not a pixie?A. When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.'

Q. What's the definition of a Yankee?A. Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.

Q. What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?A. The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Q. What is the biggest problem for an atheist?A. No one to talk to during orgasm.

Q. What do you call a smart blonde?A. A golden retriever.

Q. Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?A. The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q. Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?A. She is the one who can eat the last donut!

Q. How can you tell which is the head nurse?A. The one with the dirty knees.

Q. What is the difference between a battery and a woman?A. A battery has a positive side.

Q. A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in third grade:Who has the biggest tits?A. The blonde, because she's 18.

Q. Three words women hate to hear when having sexA. "Honey, I'm home!"

Q. Did you hear about the new paint called "Blonde" paint?A. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy.